Sideways News

Snails prepare to battle for fame

So, you have trekked around Peru, reduced your carbon emissions and recycled your finger nail clippings - but have you ever raced a snail? The Snail Racing World Championships are being held on Saturday 18th July in Congham, Norfolk.

"Congham is to snail racing what Newmarket is to horseracing" says race organiser Hilary Scase. The race has been held in the village, near Kings Lynn, for 25 years.

The population of the town doubles when slimy Schumacher and slippery Speedy go tentacle to tentacle after the ominous cry of "Ready, steady, slow". The race is serious business. If large numbers of snails are entered then heats must flesh out the best from the rest - and giant foreign snails are not allowed.

Conditions must be of optimum dampness to ensure excellent speeds. The snails race on a moist white cloth with two red circles drawn one inside the other. They begin on the inner red circle and glide over 13 inches to victory. The world record stands at two minutes which was set in 1995 by Archie. Archie has since become a stud snail - common practice for World Champions.

Thomas Vincent, whose snail won the race last year, announced: "I have achieved my lifetime’s ambition." The winner gets a silver tankard full of lettuce. Neil Riseborough, trainer to the snail stars of tomorrow, "keeps order, tests for drugs, and watches out for cheating at the start of the races".

However, if the nearest you have come to a snail is that shuddering crunch beneath your foot during a dark, wet autumnal day then perhaps a good old-fashioned sheep race will get you baaa-ck into the racing spirit.

During the same weekend the Sark Sheep Racing takes place. Watch Lamb Chop frolic his way to triumph on the Isle of Sark with a woolly Frankie Dettori cross stitched upon his back.

After the baaarmy race the coronation of Miss Sark Bo-Peep commences, followed by a glamorous fundraising event to raise money for Sark’s medical funds.

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